Martini Monday: Very Dry and a Little Dirty

There are only two kinds of martinis: gin and vodka. The brightly colored, strangely flavored drinks served at your local Applebee's with the same name are a far cry from an actual martini. Having said that, the question of how to make a martini is far from simple. There is the matter of dryness (how much - or how little - vermouth), garnish (olive or lemon twist? a cocktail onion makes it a Gibson), on the rocks or straight up... Here's how I like my martinis.

Vodka Martini (though I do like gin martinis, vodka is my favorite)

First, pour some dry vermouth into a cocktail shaker. Swirl it around, coat the whole thing, and then pour it all out. (As Prairie Oyster's undergraduate advisor liked to say, "First you show the vermouth to the vodka, and then you take it away!)

Put a few ice cubes in the shaker. I like to use four.

Pour in 3-4 shots of good vodka. Today I used Chopin, which I highly, highly recommend.

Shake until it's good and cold.

Put 4 olives in a martini glass, and a little spoonful of the olive juice. [secret message to several NYC bartenders: remember the redhead who used to order "vodka martini with extra olives" all night long? that was me. Vegetables are important.]

Strain the vodka into the glass.

Enjoy.

Cross-posted at What the hell is wrong with you?

Cocktail Mondays: The Black Russian

When I was growing up, my parents had "their" drinks. Now normally, that was Budweiser for my dad and, um, inexpensive red wine for my mom. But sometimes they would feel fancy, and that's when my dad would have his Jack 'n' Coke and my mom would have her Black Russian. As a child, I assumed the Black Russian was Kahlua and Coke.

Forward several years to the year I turned 21. I was meeting a friend in a fairly nice bar, and I got there first. I wanted to look like I knew what I was doing and order a drink. This was my first time in this situation (all my drinking until then had been at parties and in dorm rooms). I had no idea how to order wine, I thought beer wasn't classy enough, and I couldn't think of any cocktails better than rum and coke or daiquiris. So, thinking fast, I ordered a Black Russian. Imagine my surprise when I took that first sip.

The Black Russian

1 part Kahlua
2 parts vodka

Pour over ice.


A bit sweet for my taste. Much stronger than its sickly sweet cousin, the White Russian.

Cross-posted at What the Hell is Wrong With You?

Cocktail Mondays: The Manhattan

Mmmm, it's like a bourbon martini. Warms you right up on a cold day, and makes you feel so much more friendly towards the annoying masses. Also, most bartenders can be trusted to get this one right.


The Manhattan

2 parts good bourbon (I like Knob Creek)
1 part sweet vermouth
dash bitters

Shake over ice and strain into cocktail glass. Garnish with maraschino cherry. I like to add a spoonful of the cherry juice, too.

Cross-posted at What the Hell is Wrong with You?

Cocktail Mondays: The Polish Martini

I don't have a picture of this one, because I haven't had one in a long time, because I can't find bison grass vodka in this town, and that makes me very sad. But this is a delicious delicious drink and I highly recommend it. I recommend the bison grass vodka all by itself, in fact. It's not expensive and it's got a really interesting and subtle taste to it.

The Polish Martini

• 1 part Zubrowka Bison Grass Vodka
• 1 part Wyborowa Vodka (you can substitute another Polish vodka if you can't find this one)
• 1 part Krupnik honey liqueur (I had to substitute the German Barenjager, which tastes good but is certainly not Polish)
• 1 part pressed apple juice

Shake with ice and strain into cocktail glass. Garnish with lemon twist. Sit back and enjoy life.

Cross-posted at What the Hell is Wrong With You?